season vs. lifetime

so i'm finally figuring out that things don't always go according to my plans.
big shocker, right?

i've been really thinking a lot lately.... about life, and love, and such. people always let you down, so so much. and that will always be the case. UNTIL you find someone who has the same thoughts, dreams, and aspirations, as you. ideally, your "soul mate." now.. i'm not talking this astronomical "star-crossed lovers" kind of thing. the one you love but it will never work out... no. no romeo and juliet here. i mean, the person you are truly meant to be with. the one who was created for you. by none other than God himself. if He did it, it must be right. right?

a lot of my friends often turn to me for advice. it's when i have to actually heed the advice myself that i screw up. it's so much easier to preach than practice. so much easier to say than do. but, i'm learning. i honestly believe that life is a continuous process which we should use to the best of our abilites until, let's face it, time runs out. you and i both die a little with every breath that we take (kudos to ben harper, because for those of you who don't know, that is a line in his song "amen omen"). but one thing i learned, i learned from "madea goes to jail," and i believe it with all my heart. some people come into your life for a lifetime and some come for a season. you have to know which is which.

i put everybody that comes into my life in the category of a tree. some people are leaves on a tree. the wind blows, they go to the left. the wind blows from the other way, they go to the right. they are just unstable. you can't count on them for anything. all they ever do is take from that tree. what you need to understand about a leaf is that it has a season. it'll wither and die and blow away. there is no need to be praying over a leaf to be resurrected. when it's dead it's gone. let it go! some people are like that. all the leaf ever does is cool you off every now and then. if you're grown, you know what I'm talking about, because you can call them in the middle of the night and get cooled off. that's the leaf people. they come to take. then there are people like a branch. you got to be careful with branch people. they come in all different shapes and sizes. you never know how strong they will be in your life. so my advice is to tip out on it slowly. when you're going out on a limb, don't put too much weight on it at once, because it can fall and leave you high and dry. sometimes, you have to wait for a branch to grow up before it can hold all of the things you want to share with it. finally, there are people who are like roots at the bottom of the tree. if you find yourself two or three people in your entire lifetime that are like the roots, then you are blessed. the roots don't care nothing about being seen. all they're there to do is hold that tree up, to make sure it stays in the air. it comes from the earth to give that tree everything it needs. that's what relationships should be about. that's what you need, people who want to be in your life for the right reasons. if somebody wants to walk out of your life, you've got to LET THEM GO! when you learn to love yourself, you will end up giving standards to everyone around you. again, i repeat with emphasis, if they don't meet those standards, you have to let them go, because they might be a leaf. and forgive them with all your might.

the trouble is, i get way too attached, way too easily. i love, and i love hard. it's all or nothing with me. i am currently working very hard on finding my "inner joy" and being at peace with myself. because i have learned that then, and only then, is where i will be happy. truly happy.

now i can begin working on other relationships.. with family, friends, guys. because i am now at peace with the happenings all around me. and i know, and believe, that even though one door just shut, He opened another one down the hall.