houdini

In a room with no doors or windowsI find a glass floor, like a slipper from a fairytale, beneath me.

There is hope, swimming in the possibilities of all there is to come;
It’s a hammer in my hands, begging me to help me break free.

I find solitude in knowing that I'm not alone in keeping this secret,
as I can assure you I'm not the first or last.

I've thrown my hair down at you for rescue—
why have you brushed me away?
Like a gnat or pesky mosquito I am useless in your eyes,
Blowing every balloon jumbo size when there's no party.

Maybe it's time I gave up this fight and surrendered myself to myself,
forcing everyone to believe in illusions.
It's not what you see; it's what you want to see that makes it real.

I have become the great Houdini; straight jacket, lock, and key.

goodnight good knight

from behind the sunset a horse pranced up with you in tow.
you threw me over your shoulder without a second guess,
and drove me to love you against my will (at first).

now that we've come this far i'll admit:
i knew what what happening. i had an idea.
pretending to be dumb can at times assist you,
says the pretty girl with a past too dark to speak of.

too good to be true?
    yes.
                                     and no.

yes, because you are. no, because you're real.

you've taught me that there are such things as second chances...
    in life and in love.
you've taught me that it's okay to depend on someone...
    for happiness and sanity.
you've taught me that we really are born with half a soul...
    and that the other half lies within someone created for you by Him.

i've always been content with just being me.
me alone.

now you've either ruined me or created me..
    and for once in my life i'll be just fine not knowing which is true.

love can be a demon.
love can be your wildest dream.
    and for once in my life i know which one is true.

dreams come true...

dances, thieves, cigarettes and the long road ahead

you.
waltzed in, took the lead.
i am not a follower
but somehow you caught my attention.
turned my head.
led. 
my thoughts.
my thoughts.
stolen, like candy from a child.
by you, thief.
you took my warning.
read me like a book.
unafraid of the challenges,
the bogged down chapters.
you dared.
now, you reside in my morning coffee.
the afternoon cigarette.
the hungry stare from that stranger..
he was you to me.
and i cannot wait for what lies ahead.
because i know it lies within you.

his response

better ready your heart, girl
because i can sweep all day
i'll tell you right now, girl
this ain't a game i'm trying to play


the feelings are real, thumping inside my chest
lets do this now. NO REGRETS


i've been hurt a lot of times, girl
sounds like you have too
let's throw caution to the wind, girl
and do what we gotta do


you're like an untamed lion and I'm here to tame the beast
just try your best not to tear me to pieces

i'm not gonna hurt you, girl
so go with those butterflies
i can give you more than you could imagine, girl
simply because i'm not like most guys!!

insomniac.

your breathing keeps me awake at night
try as i might
i cannot ignore it
but tonight you're not next to me
where could you be/where you could be
maybe when you're there with her
you feel my emotions, they stir
and i bleed
from the inside of my head
until i can't, until i'm dead
not physically, no, you see
just dead enough not to be
alive in your life
gone from what was to what is not
from what you wanted to what you thought
i'm not sure you'll ever find
what you seek is in my mind
and it's all made up
do i mean the emotions are lies
do i mean they never existed in this life
or could it possibly be that
i can't stand it any longer, can't
watch you grow to love her
when that smile should be mine
and your lips i should find
on my forehead, not hers
my cheek, with my tears
my hopes of us
my dreams are lies and
my love knows no end
you can speak of all these things but you do not know
and rightfully so
but how can we learn
how will we know what cannot be
if you will not allow our hearts to see
i hate ultimatums but as i now know
sometimes they're the only way out
and when it hurts
is when it's worth it
and if it doesn't.............
then it's not.

tattoo

how is it possible for me to get lost in a crowd,
when i have these markings that are so distinct?
my feelings are obvious, they're engraved in my skin,
but i guess it's the invisible ink.

such nonchalance

i laugh out loud to myself, struggling
daydreams of bed scenes in line at the grocery store
you're everywhere i swear
got me losing my keys and fumbling

just go, already, i think to myself
but it doesn't help how hard you make me laugh
and you understand me
which is a feat in and of itself

i'm the fly on the wall and you're so unaware
i see your daily routine and you brushing your teeth
falling back onto your bed watching the game
you think you're alone and you don't even care

soon i know you'll find an excuse to come and stay
any reason you can think of to talk about nothing
we'll drink and laugh and talk about silly philosophies
you'll sleep on the floor and me on the couch, by the way

at my convenience the heater will be broken
but i won't tell you what we both knew all along
we'd be good we'd be great together
and here i am again, arms heart wide open