Easier said than done..

So it's been a few days.. but I haven't forgotten! I have been so unbelievably busy (as if being a working mother/wife wasn't enough) since I last wrote!

Vacation Bible School started last night at Crossroads Baptist Church, and Joey & I are in charge of three amazing 5-year-olds! They were great, but unfortunately that leaves me NO free time.

After an emergency ink cartridge incident at work (just now) I have decided to take a moment and relax my mind and de-stress! So here goes...

Since I last wrote we have been slapped in the face with a one year lease (and subsequently a $1300 deposit/first month's payment if we choose to sign it).. and since I just wrote a check last week for $1250 (to the owners of the house that was supposed to be OURS) for RENT I am not too happy about it. Actually, I'm pretty pissed. They are obviously just trying to get us out of the house (which is working), and now I wish I hadn't paid them ANYTHING and that we had just moved out last week.

So on top of being stressed out to the max with our housing situation, we are now stressed financially because that last $1250 took away what little "nest egg" we had, and we are back to living paycheck to paycheck. Great.

This morning I also got more bad news. The loan people called and said that there is basically no way we will be approved for a loan because I don't make enough money to be solely responsible for the payment (on paper), and Joey's credit sucks so he can't be on it with me... and I quote, "Mrs. Burnam, I just wanted to call you and tell you not to get your hopes up."

Ugh.

I've heard so many times lately:
"Everything happens for a reason."
"When God closes one door, two more open."
"Things will work themselves out."

We all know these things are true, but it's so much easier to believe them when you're not in the middle of the storm. Joey and I have decided to pack all our stuff up (everything except the bare necessities, anyway), move in with his dad & Lori temporarily, try to get his credit straightened out over the next few months, and maybe eventually something good will happen for us.

Yes, my husband and I (and our two children, two dogs, and cat) are going to move back in with the parents. Nothing against them, but this SUCKS!!!!

I guess our miracle isn't happening anytime soon. I'm trying desperately to just give it all up to Him and let Him worry about it for me... but it's just so hard. It would be different if we didn't have children. If we weren't married. Maybe then I wouldn't have such a hard time with it.. but when you have a family and you can't even provide a roof for their heads, it really is a huge blow to the ego. After being on my own so long it's extremely hard to ask for help, too.. but I'm not above it. I know that everything will be okay, and who knows.. maybe in a year (or five) Joey and I will be able to build our dream home. I'm sick of throwing my kids around from place to place. They need stability. They need their own rooms, and I wanna decorate them. I want to paint the walls how I want. Decorate how I want. Maybe it sounds selfish.. but I want us to have a HOME, not just live in some house.

That's what I'm hoping for anyway.