his response

better ready your heart, girl
because i can sweep all day
i'll tell you right now, girl
this ain't a game i'm trying to play


the feelings are real, thumping inside my chest
lets do this now. NO REGRETS


i've been hurt a lot of times, girl
sounds like you have too
let's throw caution to the wind, girl
and do what we gotta do


you're like an untamed lion and I'm here to tame the beast
just try your best not to tear me to pieces

i'm not gonna hurt you, girl
so go with those butterflies
i can give you more than you could imagine, girl
simply because i'm not like most guys!!

diamond in the rough

better get your broom, boy
i've got a lot of pieces around
it might seem like a chore, boy
to sweep me up off the ground

no one's ever defeated the mess that is me
most just try, get discouraged, then just let me be

i'm trying to warn you now,  boy
i'm a big, chaotic mess
better run for the hills, boy
it's better for you, i confess

i'm like an untamed lion with a broken heart
a piece of meat to a starving dog, left to be torn apart

don't worry about hurting me, boy
i'm as tough as it gets
you can't scratch a diamond, boy
let's do this with no regrets

this valentine's day

the two most hated days for single women?
                                            new year's & valentine's, without a doubt.

now, considering a few weeks ago i survived one, in a few more weeks i should be prepared to do it again. after all, i can't remember the last good valentine's day i had... and this past year's new year's started well, but was abruptly ended due to someone's lack of intelligence. (did i really just type that? yes.) basically, no major holidays over the past few years have been memorable, especially when it comes to significant others. maybe that's my bad; i just date losers. regardless of what i do wrong, because at this point we are assuming that i do nothing wrong, what the is wrong with guys? have they just totally thrown all sentimental and thoughtful stuff out the window? i think so. no one wants to date anymore. no one wants to do ANYTHING for ANYONE anymore. i really think that guys are incapable of being sweet anymore. this is why i have chosen not to date anyone for the rest of my life. i plan to join a convent as soon as Aidan is born.

ok, that was a joke.

but seriously though, i just don't even know what to say about boys/guys/men anymore. they need to step their game up, for real.

and as for this valentine's day, i'll be JUST fine... i've got my abbygayle, my little aidan, and of course... they're all i need. =)

The Greatest Irony of Love

Loving the right person at the wrong time,
having the wrong person when the time is right
and finding out you love someone right after
that person walks out of your life...

And sometimes, you think you're already over a person,
but when you see them smile at you,
you'll suddenly realize that you're just pretending
to be over them just to ease the pain of knowing that
they will never be yours again...

For some, they think that letting go is one way
of expressing how much they love that person...
in my opinion, some are afraid to see the one they love
being held by someone else...

Most relationships tend to fail not because
the absence of love. Love is always present.
It's just that one was being loved too much and the
other was being loved too little...

As we all know that the heart is the center of the body
but it beats on the left. maybe that's the reason
why the heart is not always right...

Most often we fall in love with the person we think we love
but to only discover that for them
we are just for passing time, while the one who truly
loves us remains either a friend or a stranger...

So here's a piece of advice;
Let go when you're hurting too much.
Give up when love isn't enough.
And move on when things are not like before...

It's certain... there is someone out there
WHO WILL LOVE YOU EVEN MORE.

satisfied.

i've become someone else...at first the change wasn't dramatic and it happened so slowly, almost like nothing was even happening...then all of a sudden a couple days ago something happened..like a bitch slap and everything just blew up right in my face...and that was the moment when i realized....

"oh my god. what did i do?"

i realized that everything i had been doing for the past couple months kept revolving around this one person. and i let this one person mold me into who they wanted me to be. and at first..i thought it was love...but now i see that what he was asking me to do was compromise. and in love you don't compromise to be with someone. that only means that they're not asking to be with you, they're asking to be with somebody else. and i can't be that girl anymore.

and how the hell did i ever even let myself get in this position? i mean.. WHO AM I? no one changes me unless i wanna change myself! so what was it that made me do it? my need for him? bullshit. i should have known from the very beginning that we as humans are put on this earth to learn to survive on our own. and we don't NEED anyone who happens to fall in our path...we simply WANT them there. and once you realize that they're somehow harming you..get rid of them...because they're nothing but poison in your life.

so what exactly do i label this "relationship" that i had? i call it EXPERIENCE. because the next time some guy just tries to walk all up in here like he owns me.. like i don't have feelings, and that what i want doesn't matter, you know what i'm going to say? GET TO STEPPING, FOOL.

honestly...i think i've transformed into a whole new me. one with thoughts, and feelings, and respect..not just for myself but for the things that surround me...life, family, people, friends...everything. and not that i didn't have all this before... i did. now it's all just on a higher level of thought. with what i had to put up with.. i now know that life doesn't always happen the way you plan it to be... so when life decides to change, change with it. who knows? the change may even be good! and if it's not, you might just learn something...

so...now here i am. again. alone. but satisfied. life isn't great. it could be better. but i'm satisfied. because when it comes down to it, it could be worse. and when you're like me...where you once had it all, then it all disappeared without a trace.. you're forced to move on with your life no matter what..

you're satisfied.