houdini

In a room with no doors or windowsI find a glass floor, like a slipper from a fairytale, beneath me.

There is hope, swimming in the possibilities of all there is to come;
It’s a hammer in my hands, begging me to help me break free.

I find solitude in knowing that I'm not alone in keeping this secret,
as I can assure you I'm not the first or last.

I've thrown my hair down at you for rescue—
why have you brushed me away?
Like a gnat or pesky mosquito I am useless in your eyes,
Blowing every balloon jumbo size when there's no party.

Maybe it's time I gave up this fight and surrendered myself to myself,
forcing everyone to believe in illusions.
It's not what you see; it's what you want to see that makes it real.

I have become the great Houdini; straight jacket, lock, and key.

25 Things: Part II

26. Since my last 25 I have decided that I do NOT want a puppy/dog.. I want a cat, but I can't have one because Ansleigh and Joey are allergic.

27. I like my hair better blond.

28. I always smell my deodorant before I put it on.

29. When I was in Kindergarten we had an assembly with our Seniors and when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up I replied with "A banker." The entire audience was silent.. except for my mother.. who laughed. It scarred me.

30. Considering the things I've been through I think I turned out pretty well-rounded.. but don't ask me what I've been through-- it's none of your business and I don't want your pity.

31. We still haven't done our thank you cards.

32. I never thought my first name would sound good with any other last name-- until I got Burnam.

33. I would love to have another baby... but only if I didn't have to be pregnant again. Haha.

34. I will never drink beer.

35. If Subway made an air freshener that smelled like it does when you first walk in their doors I'd be the first in line to buy it.

36. I think Spencer from Criminal Minds is hot in the weirdest way... and he used to creep me out.

37. I open three tabs as soon as Firefox opens on my computer.. Perez, Facebook, and Myspace.

38. I'm very competitive, and when Ansleigh beats me at a game I have to try not to be mad.

39. Married life is nothing like I imagined... it's better.

40. I read labels on everything... for fun. Aussie shampoo and conditioner bottles are hilarious.

41. The first night Joey and I ever spent together I was 8 months pregnant and we were in a hotel near Atlanta. He kept me awake most of the night.. I even tried earplugs.. and I seriously questioned whether or not it would work out. It did.

42. My Big Redneck Wedding might be horrible and ridiculous, but they have some great love stories.

43. I wish I could ride horses every day.

44. I can't look homeless people (who are standing by the side of the road with a sign or begging) in the eye. It makes me feel terrible that I can't help them, regardless of whether or not they're genuinely homeless.

45. I used to start and finish a book in a day or two-- now I'm lucky to finish two in a year.

46. I sleep with three pillows every night.

47. I will never feel comfortable passing gas in front of anyone, especially Joey.

48. My lips get chapped before I get sick.

49. It takes me a long time to go to sleep at night... and I always always always check on Aidan before I do.

50. Speaking of bed-- I'm going to join my overworked husband as soon as I finish this sentence!